In his book, Thanks but no thanks, Celine Alex explains that it is high time to reconsider the practices of the work world. The mold that women are supposed to follow in order to be professionally successful, but which is not made for them. A book based on testimonials from those who have held positions of responsibility (HRD, legal, artistic or editorial director, marketing director, communications director, etc.) and have decided to resign.
At the heart of this book, an observation: more and more women are abandoning their dignified positions, their bright careers. Why? According to an analysis borrowed by the author from sociologist Pamela Stone, their causes “More needs to be done with the failure of the professional world, which is poorly adapted to women’s values and needs, than an alleged personal and usually motherly desire that, according to a myth widely maintained by the media, pushes them. For their children.” Stop everything to dedicate yourself exclusively. “
A model of old-fashioned labor
There are paradoxical examples, women “Their mother has heard them say that they have to make a living and work like men, but they have seen that, in fact, they spend a lot of time at home.”. At the same time, these women were encouraged by their fathers as they did. But, Celine Alex “They had no idea what specific professional challenges and problems they were going to face.”
Practice from another age
The women interviewed by Celine Alex denounced four behaviors that they think are more widespread among men:
- Political maneuvering: Some people will set up influence tactics (intimidation, dismissal, cronyism, etc.) to achieve their goals without betting on their own merits;
- Bragging: being praised by their leaders, monopolizing the floor or cutting it in a meeting …
- Gender inequality: “There is someone whose director scolded her for not wearing enough skirts, who was explained that she could not be part of the steering committee because this function is not compatible with her family life, not even one, only associate lawyer. Of the eleven men, who were not invited for a drink on Friday evening by ten other partners. A
- Culture of Presentation: Meetings scheduled late at night or early in the morning, schedule adjustments or vacation requests are denied …
“The current professional world, its specific working hours, its meeting and reporting practices and its face-to-face over-investment culture, was created at a time when women had no place and were responsible for all aspects. Family lifeAuthor’s note. When they came to the job market, about fifty years ago, on the one hand there was nothing planned to facilitate their entry into this world which was exclusively conceived by members of the opposite sex and on the other hand, to answer. The question is who will take care of the domestic aspects while men and women are working. A
Two cartoonish models of female success
Are women condemned for being the perfect woman (who succeeds in everything: her professional life, her couple, her children, her vacations, her house, her friends, her appearance …) or Superwoman (Who has embraced influential male models to succeed) To fulfill oneself professionally? Hope not! A third way exists, but it speaks of promoting balance between life’s moments and rethinking the nature of professionalism.
The solution for a more inclusive world of work
A sororal approach
Only when women are united can this inclusive world be born. To stop women’s professional competition, the author calls for a sorority approach: never intentionally harm a woman, never insult a woman, on behalf of a woman, help everyone with an equal level of competence in the recruitment or promotion structure. Sets up other mentoring actions.
New work space-time
Women want to spend less “ineffective” time in the office, the famous time is lost by some with hints for pure ambition. “Mothers who are very persistent, basically want four things (in a very simplistic way, each individual situation is obviously different): taking their child to a pediatrician in an emergency, picking him up once he leaves school. After a while, have dinner with her and check her housework two or three times a week, once or twice a year to attend her judo / singing / dancing. This is equivalent to just a few hours per week or two half-days per month. It is a question, above all, for these women, the rights, the ideas, this window of their minds, the freedom so they can escape, leave their positions and leave the four walls of their office. Time, without asking, to justify oneself, to feel guilty. A
A flexibility that can benefit everyone, including employees who have no children but want to get out of their busy daily professional life, for an hour or two, to go for a walk, to play sports or to do urgent work. A time credit of two or three hours per week, provided by the employer to these employees, provided they can be reached via email, can be a tool of this pro / personal balancing service, Saline Alex suggests.
A new definition of power
According to the author, to be more inclusive, professional competence must be considered:
- In the service of the team and not for personal gain,
- As a feature or means of action and not occupied,
- Professional skills are not at the service of and as an instrument of influential / dominant balance of power.
Thank you but no thank you, how women are redefining social success, by Celine Alex, Pewet Edition