How to prepare the first meeting among our children? Expert advice

When parents are separated, it is not always easy for children. For some it is a difficult stage to overcome, and more so when it comes to meeting new partners and their children. To prepare for this, our specialist Katherine Verdier, a psychotherapist, gives us her advice.

Rebuilding a family One after another Separation Or a Divorce A milestone in a child’s life. Unique in each case, children come to equate this new relationship of one of their parents with their history and especially their emotions. When one of the parents decides to start a new life, and his partner also has children by his side, things can quickly become more complicated.

For this reason it is important to prepare in advance Meeting someone else’s childKatherine Verdier, Psychotherapist explained. “You have to put yourself out of the child’s perspective, because as an adult they chose it, they formed a couple. But the children did not choose it. It is not a bad surprise for them to accept another partner but also other children, It is important to inform them.

Announcements for children

Before the meeting, parents must There is talk To announce this great change with their children that is waiting for them. It is even essential. Cherubs must be able to express their feelings and emotions, which are sometimes negative, so that the meeting goes well and they get to know each other.

Because often “In a separated and mixed family, children can always know the latest.”Psychotherapist report.

Children’s response

At the announcement and even at the time of meeting the new wife, Some children may react badly. “There is a whole range of emotions that can be felt by children. There can be anger, frustration, guilt, especially if the child’s other parent is still unmarried.”, Explained Catherine Verdier. The The famous conflict of allegiance So can be installed, “The child may say to himself ‘I have another parent, I am going to feel things as a family’ and this can prevent things from getting better.”He says.

In this new mixed family, they may have the idea that their parents, their mother or their father are moving away from them. And if there are other children, they will tell themselves that they have to share. “They move from a single parent’s child to a reunited family, usually older. So sharing can be complicated.”Expert Underline.

How to prepare for the meeting?

The new partner needs to prepare for the meeting with the child or children and the first thing to do is to do it Choose the moment. You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. For the place, “You need a neutral place, it’s not with one of the two parents because if it is with them the kids will feel trapped, and if it is with a new partner they will get comfortable very quickly.”

So it is better to choose An outdoor place, “Probably to do with a fun activity”, Advises a psychotherapist. It is also important to do Pay attention to the number of people. First, it is advisable to present the children of a single wife, and not the whole mixed family at once.

What should I do if my child explicitly refuses the meeting?

Above all, the child must be able to digest the news before considering any meeting. But if he flatly refuses, and this happens too often, then the child’s parents can Seek the help of a psychologist To try to resolve the situation. “If he refuses the meeting, it is probably because he is scared or angry. You have to try to see what is behind his refusal. After all, he should not be forced to meet. Need time “Katherine Verdier, Psychotherapist explained.

Trying to make things work, although it must be on a case-by-case basis, “All discussions are welcome”Expert conclusions.

Books to help children

Regarding mixed families, there are different Books To reassure and help children Understand better what is happening, and it has been since childhood. Here is a selection:

My mixed family – Dr. Catherine Dolto – is 2 to 7 years old

Suddenly
  • Amazon
    Amazon

    6.5

  • Fnac.com
    Fnac.com

    6.5

  • Amazon Marketplace
    Amazon Marketplace

    6.5

  • Amazon Marketplace
    Amazon Marketplace

    6.5

  • Amazon Marketplace
    Amazon Marketplace

    6.5

How price tables work


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Price offers are listed in ascending order of price. Prices displayed include VAT (inclusive of all taxes). The postage displayed is matched with the cheapest home delivery offered by the merchant. The price table of aufeminin.com mentions that merchants want to appear on the condition that they will display the price including VAT (inclusive of VAT – all taxes included) and they present a great level of quality of service and customer satisfaction. This reference is provided. Our price table is therefore not complete with all offers and merchants present in the market. The offers in the price table are updated daily and several times a day for specific stores.

Simon has two homes

জীবন Such a life
  • Amazon Marketplace
    Amazon Marketplace

    5.5

  • Amazon
    Amazon

    5.9

Price offers are listed in ascending order of price. Prices displayed include VAT (inclusive of all taxes). The postage displayed is matched with the cheapest home delivery offered by the merchant. The price table of aufeminin.com mentions that merchants want to appear on the condition that they will display the price including VAT (inclusive of VAT – all taxes included) and they present a great level of quality of service and customer satisfaction. This reference is provided. Our price table is therefore not complete with all offers and merchants present in the market. The offers in the price table are updated daily and several times a day for specific stores.

Chase Papa and Chase Maman – my two houses

Gallimard Youth
  • Amazon Marketplace
    Amazon Marketplace

    13.5

  • Amazon
    Amazon

    14

  • Amazon Marketplace
    Amazon Marketplace

    14

  • Amazon Marketplace
    Amazon Marketplace

    14

  • Amazon Marketplace
    Amazon Marketplace

    14

How price tables work


See more offers
See less offers

Price offers are listed in ascending order of price. Prices displayed include VAT (inclusive of all taxes). The postage displayed is matched with the cheapest home delivery offered by the merchant. The price table of aufeminin.com mentions that merchants want to appear on the condition that they will display the price including VAT (including VAT – all taxes included) and they present a great level of quality of service and customer satisfaction. This reference is provided. Our price table is therefore not complete with all offers and merchants present in the market. The offers in the price table are updated daily and several times a day for specific stores.

Thanks to Katherine Verdiar, Psychotherapist and Pediatrician for answering our questions. Our expert is the founder of Saiphamil and the president of the association Amazing kids.

Lisa Grimwood

Since September 2021, Lisa Aufaminin has joined the team. Little by little he specialized in matters of paternity. Curious and fond of writing, he likes to talk.

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