My child does not pose in front of others and pushes himself around: What should I do?

Albin Mitchell, author of The Art of Being Separated Parents, with Nur-Edin Benzohra, a pediatrician and psychiatrist.

Take your turn on the slide, borrow a felt pen, play with others … to some it seems too easy, too intuitive. But not for your Lulu. For example, if we pass her on the slide line or take her toy, He stays frozen. However, he sometimes knows how to assert himself at home. It is up to us, the parents, to help him gain confidence and assert himself in front of other children.

Don’t let it go: the question of mood

In Crete, child care assistants are observing Empathy response, discussion, communication between children, From 6 months of age. Of course, for a child who is not yet in the community, moving to another is a novelty … not so obvious: “ At the age of 3, the child does not move on to conquered land, he is aware of the existence of others, similar and different. Nour-Edin Benjohra, Pediatrician and Psychiatrist * explained.

If your little one is an only child, it can make the move more complicated, strengthening the impression of his strangeness in front of others. But education is not everything: Also and above all there is a question of mood. Some young children force themselves loudly and explicitly while others withdraw naturally.

Kind education, frankly who gets there?

If you are shy it is not a behavior to be ignored or taken lightly and it is a family trait. So you have children You have to learn to say no. He must know that he has the right to do so. To help him, we can play a role, for example: you play “troublemaker” and encourage him to say out loud: ” No! I’m playing! “Where” No, I do not agree! »In the park, do practical work: go with him to rescue his toy and let him reveal himself.

While the solution may seem plausible to us, the expression “eye for eye, tooth for tooth” is not always appropriate! Rather we try Give the weapon of communication To our child so that he does not get pushed anymore. After a bad experience, he is asked how the fight started, what he did and then said What he liked to do and say. Predicting his potential response in this way will help him to respond to future conflicts. He is reminded that every social situation is complex and presents different reactions: it has many possibilities, and there is no better solution!

Finally, we help him after every adversity Take a step back. We reassure her of the legitimacy of her actions, given the fact that she has the right to do so and that it is not “good” to be like the children who bothered her. But he was told that it was important to set boundaries in order to be respected. We It also reduces the importance of who bothered him Explain for example that he was trying to make her attractive.

And if our child struggles to gain confidence and face others, then why not admit him An extracurricular activity that could push him thereLike judo or theater?

A book for parents

“A Little Illustrated Decoder of a Child in Crisis”, by Anne-Claire Klendenstein and Linda Corazar, ed. Mango, € 14.95. : Written as a practical guide, this very good book helps us to better understand his emotions and provides ways to be inspired by positive learning.

Fear of bullying: We talk about it in school

Sometimes the child does not dare to talk to parents about it, he is embarrassed, afraid of injuryPsychiatric observation. So pay close attention to what she looks like when she leaves school and tell her in detail about her days. Effective, From kindergarten, bullying incidents may appear. We need to be vigilant. A

If you spot the slightest problem, ask your child the right question: What happened? Did an adult see it? Did he tell her about it? How does he feel? We will take Time to listen quietly And he is reminded that if he is disturbed, he must inform an adult. If we repeatedly feel uncomfortable with the child, we alert ourselves to a school official.

Without all the drama, or, above all, without feeling guilty, even if we have the feeling of passing the shy gene to him! ” The situation worsens when the parent feels guilty.Dr. Benjohra says. The child feels this guilt, in the face of a problem that suddenly arises he feels himself blocked, powerless. To help your child, you first need to keep things in perspective and play the play. Most disagreements between children end in nicknames and, although it should not be taken lightly, it is not necessarily bullying, which Control with an aggressive intent is characterized by a relationshipWhich survives and repeats itself.

In the video: Harassment at school: They testify

Leave a Comment