Mother’s Day – Like every year, this Sunday, May 29, Mother’s Day will bring together many parents and children. When someone is busy distributing a bouquet, finding the perfect gift, making a noodle necklace or booking a train ticket, this celebration can be a burden for others.
Following our call for testimonials, some readers – and especially female readers – say Halfpost Why these days bother them, make them tired or hurt them.
The commercial side of Mother’s Day tops the list of reasons given. It was in May 1970, when she was walking through a supermarket in the United States with her husband and three children aged 3, 6 and 8, that Anne-Marie was “bored” for life.
“A message was transmitted through a loudspeaker,” he said “‘For Mother’s Day, give your mom a dishwasher or a fridge!'” At 85, she has always refused to say hello. “It’s just a celebration for commercial purposes,” he added.
If this scene happened more than half a century ago, there are still signs highlighting “special” promotions on family products for Mother’s Day each year. In 2022, Auchan, for example, is selling a vacuum cleaner at a lower price, wishing “Happy Mother’s Day”.
“If I need a mixer, I’ll buy it!”
“I’ve long hated Mother’s Day,” Genevieve added. A trade team that often sends women back to the kitchen: the worst is a robot given by the wife. If I need a mixer, I’ll buy it!
Mireille, 74, “Allergy to these parties on a mandatory date”. “What a joke when we know that some women have been beaten, when we know that grandparents are on the ehpad, the Christmas gift that opens the door to the competition, it annoys. The party is the joy of being together no matter what the day, whatever the possible way.
Emilia, 45, a mother of two young daughters, even spoke of “violence against women.” “According to the popes of cosmetics, clothing, jewelry, marketing, the only concern for good mothers and the source of happiness, she is rebellious. The demands of society on women are not like those of men.
“Just one word: my late mother-in-law used to call it ‘Saint-Moulinx’,” Leknick, Geraud wrote to us.
“More tanning than anything else”
Year after year, it became an obligation for something, such as for Rose, 34 “We send bouquets to my mom every year, it’s been 15 years and it’s getting more and more annoying than anything else,” she says. Between her brothers and sisters, it is always the same, her sister and her, who take care of her.
This year, however, he will not shy away from this work to “please” his mother. “With birthdays, Christmas is a lot. It’s great to celebrate mothers, but not one day a year,” he added.
In Lewis’s family, 33, yet very close to his mother, Mother’s Day is not important. “We like to give gifts, family reunions, traditions, but we don’t need Mother’s Day for that,” he explained. This group is meaningless, there is no historical explanation or meaning behind it. ”
“I’m tired of telling our loved ones how and when to show love,” concludes 47-year-old Claude. The same story with Raymond, who regrets “for the management and often the children’s obligation to praise their mother.”
“Discovery of Marshall Petten”
To some, this tradition is still regarded as one of the tools of Pronatalist policy of the last century. If Mother’s Day had not been invented by Marshall Pettin – but decreed by decree in France in 1926 – the idea would have survived.
“We’re not celebrating this event that keeps me indifferent, now founded by Petein for two generations, as Claudine wrote to us. However, it’s hard to escape the noodle necklace!”
It is true that in 1941, the collaborative regime of Marshal Petin incorporated it into his ideology of “work, family, homeland”. But this tradition will survive the time of liberation, as it will be preserved in an Act dated May 24, 1950. But in the minds of the people, the ghost of Peten revolves around Mother’s Day.
Barth, born in 1963 and a mother of four, never celebrated Mother’s Day. “My parents, both teachers, associated the party with Peten,” he wrote. I grew up with the idea that it was a party to keep the housewife and it didn’t make my mother, a feminist, happy to have a happy birthday on this day.
When she was ready to become a grandmother, she always welcomed her children’s “signs of emotion and tenderness” on that day, “just like any other day.”
“Celebrating the ones we love all year long as long as they’re there.”
For those who can’t or don’t want to be a mother, Mother’s Day can be a burden. Becoming a mother in June 2021 after “many difficulties”, 40-year-old Claire told us of her “inner turmoil, which got worse during this time.”
“As a doctor, I can also tell you about the plight of mothers who have lost a child or who lost their mother at an early age,” he added.
This is what happened in May, who wrote to us from Bordeaux: May 29 will be the first Mother’s Day since her death, which happened less than a month ago. “The ones we love should be celebrated all year long, as long as they are there, not just saying ‘it’s done’, but simply because we care for them, underlining this 50-year-old woman, the days of mother, father and grandmother.” There’s always annoyance Now it’s even worse: In addition to annoying me, they make me sad by reminding me of those I don’t have anymore.
The same feeling for Dominic, the father of two young daughters who lost their mother on April 7th. She fears that this day, which she wants to “disappear”, could prove “discriminatory and painful” for her children. “How do you think they’ll spend this day on May 29, hearing about this party everywhere?”, He asks us.
“Gift instructions for her ‘dear mom'”
Mannan, 20, who said his mother beat him and his sister before disappearing “for 10 years”, “hates Mother’s Day.” “It simply came to our notice then. Think about the number of children who have lost their mother? Or whose mother’s serious illness? Or who abandoned or abused them? “
This is also the case with 70-year-old Michelle, who was able to sever ties with her “abusive” mother during the recent epidemic of Covid-19. “When I was 14, he almost sent me to the hospital during his final beating,” he wrote to us. Then she stopped calling him “Mother”.
Ann, 49, who left home at the age of 18 to avoid a “stressful and painful” maternal relationship, Mother’s Day is “a duty, a job, a conflict, a big annoyance.” “I force myself,” he concludes. Raising her children to the idea that it was not worth greeting her, she regrets it today. “I want to be invited to the restaurant, to give flowers,” he admits.
Throughout her childhood, Isabelle endured “this instruction to give, which one was obliged to make for one’s ‘beloved mother’,” when her mother lived thousands of miles away. “Even though I loved the person who raised me, I never had a hard time putting together a Mother’s Day gift for someone who wasn’t,” she recalls.
All kinds of families
Since the marriage for all in 2013, the choice of specific schools to replace Mother’s Day or Father’s Day with more inclusive formulations has emerged – without fail to create controversy.
Mathilde, an elementary school teacher, has decided to celebrate the “Festival of Those We Love” with her students this year. “We have a number of children who have lost their mothers or their fathers,” he wrote on Twitter.
Single-parent, homo-parental, mixed, “atypical” families … not all of them are found on this Mother, Father’s or Grandma’s Day. This is Claire, 40, the stepmother of a young boy whom her husband has cared for since the age of 3 and whom he met at the age of 6.
“She saw her mother twice a year,” she says. Was completely missing! ” She concludes: “Mother’s Day is good for those with whom everything is going well and who do not go out of frame. For everyone else, it is a difficult time to get through. As my mother used to say: My party is every day.
See also Halfpost: She brings to life her grandmother’s attire, which has been in a suitcase for 70 years