Leaving your children alone: ​​Simple in the 1990s, unimaginable today?

When we were little our parents would sometimes leave us alone in our home. But will we still do it with us?

Who says education question? Conflict of generations! What was allowed yesterday is forbidden today, forbidden, deported: “No, no, we can’t do it, don’t you think …”

So these are All This is a divided question About our chapter Park Debate.

Yesterday, our parents (well, A lot Our parents, let’s not generalize), Left alone in our house For yes or no “Listen, I have to go shopping. You keep quiet here. I’ll be back in a few hours!” A My parents’ friends even went to the restaurant or the movie when their little ones went to bed …

Today, it is no longer the same thing. But we sometimes want to be absent. But then, what has changed?

Parents in 2020: Open School! What should we do? Leaving our children alone at home for hours on end?
Parents of 1980 and 1990:

Leave children alone: ​​how and at what age?

Legally, there are no rules for leaving your child unattended. So we must act on common sense … even if we often lack it in education: it is not always innate, because they try to believe us.

Inside, outside… it’s not exactly the same thing. The danger is different!

Leave a child alone at home

Recommended by the Canada Safety Council Do not leave a child under 10 alone – or a child under the age of 12 in the care of another. It is based on precautionary principles.

Are we afraid in the end? There is a risk of leaving the baby indoors without taking care of it Domestic accident. Fall, fire, dive … what a celebration!

(© Unsplash / Allen Taylor)

For the little ones, leaving them is even more dangerous In a missing room. They can swallow something, slam into a corner of a table, climb on furniture and fall … My 15-month-olds have only one interest right now, which is eating cat food or litter grains. So, of course, it’s not necessarily fatal, but it’s better if they can avoid it.

Marie Chetrit, doctor of science who has just published Positive education: The question of balance? Exposing the right and wrong of caring parentingTell us that there is A few degrees of danger :

“Apart from the big dangers like the wrong road or electrocution, the child has his own experience. A

Mary Chetrit has two children, ages 6 and 8; He doesn’t leave them alone for more than 20 minutes – when he goes shopping – and always together.

“It simply came to our notice then The character of the child. If we think they are not going to do irrational things.

We know our children We know what they are capable of. 6 years old, I will not leave her alone. He is unpredictable, he is able to bring things from the cupboard. He’s got the idea to take a knife to cut something, I suspect. “

So it often depends on the character of the child (bold or small bookworm, even if it is not excluded). About 7-8 years old The child who leads the head acquires a sense of danger.

“Around 7 years old, we talk The age of reasoning, That’s true enough. It is associated with awareness of the immutable side of death.

Young children think that once one dies and then one is resurrected, they are still much more Think of this magic. When they are aware that it is a certain condition, they are more aware of the danger. A

Superhero
(Ns Unsplash / Steven Libralon)

Must go slowly. Mary Chetrit tells us:

“We don’t miss two hours at a time. You can go to the mailbox first, then come back with bread.”

It can also be positive, because it is a path More autonomy :

“It simply came to our notice then A sign of faith. It is necessary for independent education. Sometimes sixth graders, for example, have to take a bus. We have to give up and believe. A

Of course, the child must agree, Feel safe enough. For parents, this is not necessarily easy, you just have to wait until you are ready and feel confident.

Leave a child alone outside

Things have changed a lot since the 1980s. We are Nourished by dramatic news stories, From Estelle Moujin to Little Gregory. They are getting more publicity. Abduction warnings, although very useful, are also anxiety-provoking. Just the sound of the siren makes me cool!

When I was younger, I often cycled along small country roads by the river. Julie, 33, also confides Lost :

“When I was about 8-10 years old, I went with my cousins Abandoned house For the whole afternoon on holidays. A

Mary Chetrit also tells us:

“When I was younger, about 8-10 years old, I used to go for walks alone in the vineyard or in the forest.

I would leave for an hour or an hour and a half and my parents were not worried. I will not let my children do it. A

We obviously don’t blame our parents, it was another time! With chokers, friendship bracelets and very permissive parents …

Kids-out
(© Unsplash / Marcus Wallis)

Mary Chetrit tells us about the first time she let her older children go out alone:

“The first time we let them out alone, they were 8 and 9 years old. Get it bread, walk 5 minutes. We waited impatiently for them to return. We are very worried about traffic jams in urban areas. A

Habits and customs have therefore changed somewhat Since 1990 and it’s for the best. But it is also an indicator of a paradigm shift in education, from “we do what we can” to “you have to give everything”.

More pressure on guardianship

Let’s be clear, it wasn’t good before! If we do not keep our children at home for long periods of time or when they are out and about, it is to protect them. But it’s part of a larger trend: getting parents More stress On the care and upbringing of children.

Inside ReleaseTTU Lecock says with humor:

” […] We went crazy with our kids including me. Completely crazy. The children took Extreme importance. Why? Despite the evidence of our love for them, our relationship with our children and our perception of what we hate about them is deeply historical. A

And it is women, the majority, repeatedly, who take care of children. It cannot be divorced from history: from the moment we were able to choose whether or not to have children, and from the moment we received them, the pressure on motherhood became stronger. Titu Lecock explains:

” […] When the children’s project becomes a choice to consider carefully, The responsibilities involved are very heavy. Motherhood is no longer tolerated but desirable, the woman must accept whatever goes with it.

Society tolerates that women live their lives as they see fit, but once they decide to become mothers, it is consideredThey are completely indebted to their children. A

In short, thanks to the children are left less alone than before Miscellaneous event media coverage (Thanks Let the accused enter !) And Pressure on parents Strong especially mothers …

Regarding current recommendations, we do not leave a child alone at home, 8-10 years ago. We must consider his personality, his propensity to do bad things, his period of absence, and the structure he has implemented and explained.

Parents of young children, not tomorrow that you can leave your children alone at home and drink spritz on the veranda. But soon, soon!


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