Have you ever wondered why your kids behave so differently from you? Early childhood professionals will have an armada to provide rational explanations that are clearly supported by neurological studies. But we have seen clearly in their game: our children are simply secret agents. However, they have all the qualities.
1. Master the art of torture
It is well known that lack of sleep is an ancient technique for talking to secret agents. And it’s a small thing to say that kids have been playing the game for a long time. Constantly screaming all night or waking up more deceptively every 2 or 3 hours, they know exactly how to sway us in excitement and frustration. Okay, we admit everything, we’ve finished the last 2 cheerleaders!
2. Don’t make threats
Even when you fasten a hose and promise to throw Dudu Lapin out the window if the child doesn’t tell you why he got up again (even though you pulled him 2 minutes ago 23 times), he won’t let a word go. So yes, it will roll to the ground and fail to convince three times but the subject will come out with a valid reason including the verb complement you can brush yourself mom.
3. Assign confidential identities to fellow students
Is it true, it’s still the story of the dubious best friend whose name we keep scratching. If this little Gabriel is really your best friend in life, then we know why you call him “Badriel” if you don’t get used to him from the age of 4, disassociate yourself from his real name and soon live a double life. . Uzbekistan?
4. Speaks a coded language
Only his twin brother is able to decipher this unknown language. As for the other sidekicks in the sandbox, we’re not entirely sure. Early childhood experts have taken it in the name of blabbering on. But we do know that “chatter” is definitely another version of the first name “Gabriel”.
5. Change physics without any props
After all this delusion of being born blonde with blue eyes turns brown with brown eyes, seriously? And that’s when he renewed his teeth and calmed down. A little more and it’s like being on these reality shows in extreme makeover mode. And yet, we didn’t even mention adolescence.
6. Constantly trying to save time
We know that your colleague Mathis, who broke into the Dumuchel family, is about to arrest the biggest drug trafficker in the capital. But to do this, my little Theodol, still needs you to make a diversion with your parents, so that they do not reach the scene of the robbery too soon. And that’s why it takes you 45 minutes to tie your right shoe, not about 37 minutes before you finish your sentence: “And you know that … that … that … that …”. It’s easier to be patient than to run the country smoothly, isn’t it?
7. Have a terrifying eagle eye
You, foolishly, let yourself be influenced by the feeling of his incredible observation that lets you see the world in a different light and again appreciate the beauty of the leaves of the tree that the wind gently flutters according to its mood. But finally, wake up! It’s not uncommon to see baby ants in tree trunks when everyone around is paying attention to the pigeon droppings. So Daniel Craig could play you in the very stylish and mysterious James Bond, but you saw him, Ant, you?
8. Knows how to steal objects wisely
You can hide your belongings in drawers or drawers that you think are secret, but they always end up mysteriously in the hands of your children. But Hell, how does he do it ?! And when we say hand, it’s for our luck because most of the time it’s in the mouth. And goodbye my picture autographed by Patrick Fiori, summer 2013. Well what?
9. Know the best hiding place to hide stolen items
Yes, because it is not enough to be a professional kleptomaniac, but you still need to be able to quickly hide your stolen object. And trust us, this is the time when your kids know how to double their creativity. In order to store the top secret microfilm in the washing machine, you still have to think about it!
10. Can create weapons of mass destruction
What would Batman do without his gadget? Iron Man without his technology? James Bond without his accessory panoply? Well, our kids don’t need anything other than themselves to carry out their mission. Do we need to trigger an alarm siren to cover the whole city? Just threaten our kid not to come and get him tonight, be careful, stay out of the window! An enemy to resist? No need for bombs, everything is already in the diaper, take out the gas mask!
Acknowledge that now that you have been told all these secrets about your children, it explains a lot about their strange behavior, doesn’t it? And then, it’s still class, isn’t it, to host the nation’s saviors at home? You mean, like, saltines and their ilk, eh?