Why do men have more sexual arousal than women in heterosexual relationships?

The author is a researcher-analyst at the Sex in Canada project at McMaster University and the SUMMIT project at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health in Ontario.

Sexual researchers have found that men have more orgasms than women during heterosexual intercourse.

This is called orgasm sex gap or orgasmic gap. There are many myths and speculations as to what explains this contradiction. There are some commonalities that women take too long to get orgasm, that they don’t want to feel orgasm, that they need more work to do and that it will be harder to please them.

But does a woman’s orgasm really require a lot of hard work and if not why is this belief so prevalent?

Sexuality research in Canada

I recently published, in collaboration with sociologists Tina Fetner and Melanie Heath, a study that challenges these assumptions about women’s power and desire for orgasm.

We used data from our National Representative Sex in Canada survey to find that there was a sex gap between orgasms – 86% of Sisegender men said they had orgasm during their last heterosexual intercourse, compared to 62% of Sisegender women.

What helps us reduce sample gaps? Oral sex.

The need for clitoral stimulation of women to achieve orgasm has been documented by many sex researchers, but it is not clear why orgasmic gaps persist despite knowing this information.

To better understand the situation, we conducted in-depth interviews with adult men and women across Canada that examined beliefs and feelings that prevented couples from engaging in sexual activity that allowed women to reach orgasm more easily.

Gender essentials

One common myth that helps maintain an orgasmic gap is that there are inherent differences between men and women in what they want in terms of sex. Women will instinctively seek emotional connection, and men will seek physical liberation.

Thus, it is considered that for a woman, feeling emotionally attached to her partner and achieving orgasm will be mutually exclusive, an attitude that is far from new.

This view is what social scientists call “gender indispensability”, meaning the belief that there are natural, biological, and physical differences between men and women.

Essential beliefs have been used to justify the various inequalities between men and women, such as perpetuating the notion of women’s place in the home and men’s place in the workplace.

If one were to take an essential view of face value, one would argue that women value emotional connection more than sexual pleasure because they do not want to reach orgasm. But is it true that they don’t want to have an orgasm when they have sex with a man?

Our research suggests that a woman’s orgasm myth has less to do with a woman’s disability or lack of orgasmic desire than how gender rules shape and limit expectations.

Introduction to Heteroneurmativity

The orgasm gap is not only about gender, it is also about differences. Our participants defined a “normal sexual relationship” as the penetration of the vagina by the penis, which means that their sexuality is centered on the stimulation of the penis rather than the clitoris.

Our study shows that heterogeneous notions of sex mean that other sexual practices that privilege clitoris stimulation — such as oral sex মূল are considered complementary to the main function.

This means that they are seen as special, require more effort, time and more challenge, although they increase a woman’s chances of reaching orgasm.

A negative attitude about sex that would be satisfying for women

The belief that intercourse is an “emotional connection” for women and the definition of “intercourse” as penetration through the vagina through sex has the effect of limiting women’s sexual practice. It also affects their perception of other sexual practices.

For example, some interviewees described other sexual activities, including oral sex, unnatural, evil, or dirty.

One of our participants here, Kathy, said: “I don’t have oral sex. It may be pretty, but it just doesn’t feel right, I feel dirty. A

The reluctance of women to engage in sexual habits that can bring them more physical pleasure shows the dual quality of sex that judges women more rigorously than men and teaches them to control their desires and their sexual behavior.

Sexuality is on the agenda of the fight for gender equality

Belief in women’s bodies, what they want from sex, even what sex is, all help to justify why women do not have sexual intercourse with men.

The struggle for gender equality has challenged and refuted many essential perspectives. Yet the persistent orgasmic divide shows that essentialist notions still influence the course of heterosexual intercourse.

The orgasmic gap highlights how gender inequality works even in the most intimate and private moments of a heterosexual relationship.

As with other forms of inequality, it is important to go beyond individual interpretations to understand that sexual arousal gap is a form of gender inequality.

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