How do you support your child’s empowerment?

Learning accountability is a long and slow process. However, it is essential because accountability is one of a person’s most anticipated skills.

To assist their children in this education, parents can apply the appropriate tools presented in this article.

Accountability is one of the most expected skills in a person. From school, children learn to work independently and responsibly, respect homework dates, prioritize and anticipate their work, and gradually organize themselves. When they come to university, they are expected to master these skills perfectly, otherwise they will find themselves in a lot of difficulty or even in a situation of failure. Finally, responsibility is paramount in professional life. It has been cited by employers as one of the most sought after skills: 93% of them find it essential for an employee.[1].

However, learning to take responsibility is a long and slow process. But using adaptive tools, especially by parents can go with it. Empowering someone defines an established framework in which the individual is free to choose the means of implementing his or her mission. So there are three complementary elements to the concept of accountability:

  • A defined scope within which responsibilities are applied
  • Achieving a goal
  • Freedom of action and organization.

Appropriate tools, combining these three elements, can be used by parents to gradually empower their children. From the age of 5, the latter can actually begin to take on a marked opportunity of responsibility. Per From the age of 7, they are able to conduct their missions as well as participate in the very definition of the scope of their responsibilities.

Strengthen your child from the age of 5

From the age of 5, children can take responsibility for a certain amount of responsibility. He may, for example, be responsible for the coffee table in the living room. He must make sure that it is kept clean and tidy. If the mailbox is accessible to him, he may be responsible for the mail. It is better for him not to rely on anyone else to do the work that falls to him. The child is autonomous in carrying out its responsibilities. It is up to him to decide when and how he will organize himself to carry out his mission. On the other hand, the definition of scope of responsibility is still in the hands of adults.

We find here three elements necessary for responsibility: a defined perimeter (coffee table), a mission (the latter will be neat and clear) and freedom of action as the child chooses how he wants to proceed.

In this empowerment, the adult’s posture is like a companion. The latter will show the child the opportunity for responsibility, present the mission to be accomplished, and finally explain the principle of accountability, especially if the child is free to organize himself as he wishes. Adults do not constantly observe the successful completion of the task given to the child. He won’t notice her as the coffee table isn’t impeccably tidy or clean. On the other hand, he will take the time to talk to her and remind her of his responsibilities and their effects if this happens too often.

Integrate your child into the organization of the home from the age of 7

From the age of 7, the child may gradually become accustomed to the definition of rules and procedures of home organization. At the age of 5, he took on responsibilities that were still given to him by adults, and he is now able to participate in the definition of the perimeters that he will take on. To do this, a simple tool can be set up: the distribution of tasks.

The division of labor is to bring together all the members of the family to discuss the work performed collectively and their distribution. This is a convenient moment, where we take time to sit around a table to organize family life together.

The tasks that need to be done are listed (emptying the dishwasher, setting the table, removing the trash, etc.), as well as the limitations associated with them and what must be respected (maximum time to leave the trash can, For example). Activities are then distributed to all family members according to each person’s limitations (class and work schedule, sports activities, etc.). A schedule consisting of family work, related limitations, and day-to-week assignments is then formally displayed at home so that everyone knows what they need to do. Once the distribution is established, each member of the family is responsible for performing their tasks.

In terms of implementation, the policies remain the same for the empowerment of the youngest. Children decide when and how they will perform their tasks, unless they respect the underlying limitations of their mission. In other words, they are free to organize themselves in a structure that will be defined upstream. Adults act as guides and do not constantly monitor whether the child has done the work. Speech is a collective (“by doing this, you participate in family life”), rather than guilt (“you forgot to do it again”), childbirth (“don’t forget to do it”), or compulsion (” You have to do it. “ )

So we find three underlying elements of child empowerment in the division of labor: marked scope, completion of missions and freedom of organization. In addition, the division of labor provides children with the possibility to determine the activities they will be responsible for in collaboration with their parents.

By relying on the three pillars mentioned above and by implementing these adaptive tools, parents can therefore promote the empowerment of their children, and this from an early age. This role has many advantages. First, children will acquire the skills they need in their studies and in their future careers, whatever happens next. Accountability makes family life easier, because parents don’t have to set the table or empty the dishwasher every day. Once the reflexes are installed, this mode of operation allows things to happen on their own, smoothly and without shouting. Empowerment eventually invites parents to question their posture, gradually shifting from an authoritarian personality (what to do and how to do) to a concomitant posture (helping the child to work alone).

[1] Pôle emploi study “Skills expected by employers”, March 2018, Skills expected by employers – Pôle emploi |

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