Not strict father, here is the father’s companion

We do not carry away. As the authors of PA have mentioned. 117 of their work, “The distribution of roles does not change or change in margins”. Thus, the traditional model of a father who works as a priority and a mother who works or not, remains the main point of reference for the children. Equality has not yet been achieved, neither in terms of wages nor in the distribution of work.

Read about it: In Switzerland, in 2018, it is always the mother who poutje

Still. Inside Father and new fatherhoodPsychologists Jean Le Camus and Monique Eisenberg have revived the evolution of a function that has undergone profound changes. Until the 1970s, fathers were distant and authoritarian. They provide for the family’s financial needs and represent the law, interfering with education and emotional development as the third individual between mother and child.

Liberal tsunami

After the 1970s Liberation Tsunami and the legitimate desire of women to work, parents who are sensitive to the new concept take a completely opposite view. They are present from birth, even before, when they express solidarity with the pregnancy, they maintain a direct relationship with the child and show their affection without any veil. Too much, prohibits Francois Dalto, who sees in this interest of fathers “not only the desire to help their wives, but to substitute the mother, to be” pregnant “by this kind of vague desire for the mother, to be somewhat a cannibal!”

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Competition or collaboration? Since the 2000s, fathers have chosen, reassure writers. “In terms of the breakdown of the family model, it prioritizes the needs of the child.” Since then, the roles have become irrational, especially the separation between authority and masculinity and the father’s first contact with their children no longer leads to fever.

Guess the feminine part

“The 2020 man is less afraid to show that we all have emotional bisexuality. The relationship with a minor allows her to express this feminine part, without diminishing her virility, greet the experts. However, at the psychoanalytic level, whether closed or not, the father remains the third divider who intervenes for about 9 months.

Another current element that promotes ancestral involvement? Number of divorces and breakups. “Since one of the two couples is separated, it is a real reality for parents to take responsibility for the child’s care.” And since stress dominates this society of thousands of activities, it is better to choose an enlightened co-parent who defines common rules and priorities rather than isolating each other in the fight for influence.

Authoritarian and that religious model

Why has the authoritarian model existed for millennia? Identify Jean Le Camus and Monique Eisenberg because of their social build and organization. Traditional families are the guarantors of political stability and economic prosperity. But, above all, “Christianity and the other religions of the book, Judaism and Islam, came together to sanctify marriage and to create codes for the education of children. Catholicism, including the Trinity, the Father (God), the Mother (Virgin Mary), and the Son (Jesus Christ), has gone so far as to define the model of the sacred family as an ideal.

So despite the change of mindset, “a protective and loving mother and a legislative and just father” is still a significant pattern. If the three monotheistic religions support Orthodox Judaism as “a patriarchal kind of family organization, and consequently, male domination”, “a child is Jewish if the mother is Jewish.” “This method of maternal descent partly explains the antiquity of the ‘Jewish mother’, whom physicians easily label as ‘all-consuming’, ‘heroic’, ‘irresistible’ and a particularly strong figure.”

Arrogant Kangaroo Fathers

Those bottom lines haven’t gone away. But the Cultural Revolution of the 1970s and the current identity revolution are vigorously redistributing cards. So who is this new partner dad? He is quite educated and progressive. She likes to play with her children and when she plays she does not hesitate to interact and tease while the mother is more attentive and instructive. She also likes to talk to her children, but needs more precision and content than the mother, who likes communication and easy expression.

Like his partner, he practiced the gift of tenderness, famous Careful Anglo-Saxons, even replace the guardian if necessary. “If the mother is sick, especially the father can ensure the survival of the newborn. This is the case of “kangaroo fathers” who carry a premature baby on their chest, the authors describe.

New parents also know that parental love is “surrender, that is, it has an open character that distinguishes it from sexual love, which occupies. Love for parents is to help the child and then to promote the child and them. A helping hand vs. finally, in the best case!

Dialogue, yes, authority, less

His main idea? Dialogue. With another parent, a woman or a man – “in France, it is estimated that 31,000 children live in a homeoparental home”. With extended family members or family friends, with social contacts (teachers, sports coaches, various teachers, etc.). And with the medical profession if necessary.

Read again: If it is constructive, the conflict between the parents benefits the child

If the dialogue is at the center of the new father’s reasoning, then authority is much less. And there, physician and psychoanalyst Monique Eisenberg speaks of a “crisis.” “Today, the act of authority creates a sense of guilt in the parent that allows the child to impose himself. He then commits the crime of reversing the generational order himself, ”the therapist agreed.

Father Thraster

Another recurring problem? Explanation of the river. “It simply came to our notice then. The latter always seeks further explanation, it gives him a sense of authority over his parents, but at the same time, it makes him insecure. However, “love means framing”, psychologists remind. Those who, as a proposed solution to find this authority, invite parents to “re-engage the partner erotically, so that the first diode, the two lovers, can normally exclude the child.”

And advise parents not to be afraid to take the image of “bright”. “The father model that seems to be the most desirable these days is a father who wrote brilliantly like Albert Camus. The first man, “Show the way and blame and praise the child, not according to power, but according to authority”. A father who encourages a child invites him to excel and supports him in times of difficulty. “A father is a partner and propeller”, the author concludes.

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