My child has a toxic friend: What should I do?

What is a toxic friendship?

Friendly relationship Part of the balance and well-being of children. They like to pay attention to them. For the little one, the feeling of belonging to a group or a relationship takes precedence over everything else. Throughout his schooling, your child builds relationships with other peers until he or she finds a close friend who can finally let him or her see all the colors. “Not here Toxic friendshipThat is not my definitionEmmanuelle Piquet explains why this is a “parental expression”. It refers to the feelings of many parents who are deeply concerned about the plight of their children who are going through difficult moments with a friend. “For example, their children come home crying from school, complaining of being hot and cold. One day, he is told that he is his friend and not the next day. Since this situation hurts the child that will talk to the parents about it, it will hurt them. Parents therefore think that there is a toxic relationship or a toxic friend“, Explains our expert.

From the age of 7, our therapist identifies this group of “popular” children who decide who has the right to join the band. Like the Roman emperors in a gladiatorial courtyard, with a simple thumb up or down, they indicate the right to life or death of individuals within a group. Among other inappropriate behaviors mentioned by parents, “There are exclusive children who forbid their child to have another relationship in the pain of friendly separation “, Emmanuelle Piquet describes it in his book Your child is related to others. In fact, these children use emotional maneuvering to maintain this bond and do whatever they want with their “friend” in the clutches of an important person.Guilt He will feel responsible for the actions for which he will be charged. Physical teasing, school teasing or gossiping about them is one of the common features of a relationship we call “Toxic

The pattern of these “toxic” relationships is similar in adults. In the company, what often emerges in terms of pain is the frequency of unambiguous behavior as far as indifference goes. “A coworker or a manager who doesn’t say hello to you one morning and you don’t know why and the next day will be extremely warm in contrast and say hello in your eyes.“The therapist says. Another scenario, he will be extremely dissatisfied with a job and will tell you the next day that he has.”Slightly carried away, sorry

What causes a toxic friendship?

During adolescence, a person is aware that he is hurting others by his actions and gestures. “Teachers do exactly what it takes to say what is wrongEmmanuelle Piquet believes. On the other hand, in elementary school, it is not necessarily very intense consciousness but they almost feel animated by animal feelings. At the age of 5-6 years, a child feels that everything is possible for him, he can have everything, everything Sigmund Freud also called it “child ego” or “child narcissism”. So, this feeling supports it. The absolute power of some child over a relationship. “It is equally exciting for them. If there is no pain, there is no sign of this energy in any way“, Underlining the expert.

Lack of empathy encourages the development of some unhealthy friendly relationships. Typically, these children do not have the necessary communication tools to understand the feelings of others. This is why experts agree to give more importance to parental education and empathy in school. It is essential to teach children the subtleties of their emotions in order to give them more linguistic knowledge to communicate about feelings. In addition to dismissal Judgment and superstition In favor of weather tolerance, sympathy contributes to the decline Stigma And gives everyone a chance to understand. Finally, empathy reduces the risk of bullying at school.

What can parents do to help their child recover from a toxic friendship?

Consider our therapist “It is very difficult to decide whether it is good or not when you are not in a relationshipHe reminds parents that life is far from being a long calm river, with happy and unpleasant relationships. But if the pain is for you and your little ones, you need to be able to tell them. There are a number of positive but negative aspects to a person’s friendship. Parents must empower their child: “It is up to you to decide whether it is the most painful thing to be in this relationship or to leave it for sure.Have a good time“, Our expert commented.

We can, here, unveil the metaphor of the thread as a symbol of the bond that exists between two people. In order for this link to take effect, you must hold it to one end. For example, Justin and my daughter are holding this thread on both ends. So they work in this relationship. But if I, Mom or Dad, put myself in the middle of a relationship that I can’t hold on to one end, I end up taking the risk of creating a knot to reverse what I want: a more painful relationship that can go on. The idea is to stand by the child and not be a mediator or savior. When we help the child by saying:You have choices and I will always be there to partner with you one way or another. Through this you will have infinite respect for him“, Emmanuelle Piquet testified.

Conversely, avoid worrying about your child. Feelings are each one intimate and specific. Under no circumstances should they be taxed. Forbidding her to see her friend would be even more detrimental to her.Finally, you can work with your child’s keys to his or her education so that he or she can identify whether or not such a person is beneficial to him or her.

Learn more about the subject and the work of Emmanuelle Piquet:

You can also watch a video available on YouTube.

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